the crow rested, looking over my shoulder while I pulled light from shadow. we painted the darkest spots with blinding light, like kintsugi to the night. she disappeared for days at a time, only to return with gifts of oceans painted chrome.

I share them with you here, both palms wide open.

Justin’s HEAVY SHADOWS E34 BMW.

shot on a mixture of Ilford SFX200 and Lomography Babylon12.

the crow rested, looking over my shoulder while I pulled light from shadow. we painted the darkest spots with blinding light, like kintsugi to the night. she disappeared for days at a time, only to return with gifts of oceans painted chrome.

I share them with you here, both palms wide open.

Justin’s HEAVY SHADOWS E34 BMW.

shot on a mixture of Cinestill 400D, 800T, Lomography Purple, and Kodak Gold 200.

the crow rested, looking over my shoulder while I pulled light from shadow. we painted the darkest spots with blinding light, like kintsugi to the night. she disappeared for days at a time, only to return with gifts of oceans painted chrome.

I share them with you here, both palms wide open.

Justin’s HEAVY SHADOWS E34 BMW.

shot on a mixture of Cinestill 400D and Kodak Gold 200.

my best friend, at home in my office space. almost too on the nose how much of my heart this is.

Fortune Favors the Brave at Lime Rock Park.

GentleRain circuit machine.

Gridlife Circuit Legends, Lime Rock Park.

Dave Deltorto’s Audi powered Volvo 242 at Thompson Speedway for Staggered Motorsports Festival.

victoryautodesigns.com

reprieve.

iphone marketing / billboard in the dark.

ive never seen you here before, usually it’s just me.

trying to set the commute on fire.

greenhouse when it was all grey.

to keep the summer alive.

a couple years late and incomplete.

closer now to 12 than 10…but with new waves of emotions and updated imagery, this project will remain as incomplete as it is presented here. pieced together remnants of a grander schematic…the cinema exists in every facet of this life, contorting its shape and size accordingly. may the next entry in this story be grandiose. thank you.

it’s all the sun anyways.

god finds new ways to die on an empty racetrack.

discarded amongst an ocean or two.

and what feels like forever. I’m sure I’ll say it again another day.

counter cultures exist to challenge and oppose societal norms. in my mind, at its core the essence of automotive culture and enthusiasm as we know it exists as one.

it is a failure of a counter culture – it has failed to meaningfully oppose any aspect of the makeup of our society. it has failed to do anything but pollute the creation of art and development of artistry. it has not only failed to challenge poisons of our overall culture that are integral to the makeup of it, but has only served to enforce and exacerbate racism misogyny xenophobia and homophobia – both systemically and socially.

none of this is news to me, and I hope it isn’t to you. at best this failed counter culture is spineless, passive, and selfish to no end. the most acknowledged, well regarded, and rewarded of people within only serve to benefit from the same societal norms that the ‘culture’ should be ‘countering.’

for very long within it I’ve been met with criticism for refusing to divide any issue from one another, for constantly being loud about it, and not allowing a shared ‘hobby’ to connect me to someone instead a mutual desire for worldwide vigilance and social justice. I say this for no reason other than to remind you of that, in welcoming or warning, and to remind you to do the same, in social events, friendships, jobs, families, relationships. there are few things more political than being a worker, a lover, a friend, a neighbor, an artist … a human. you’re a fighter whether you realize it or not, it just may not be for the side you think.

the sooner you see that all the evils of the world,near and far, are intrinsically connected, the closer the light we seek will appear.

do not worship and seek soul within the wrong machine – the one we fight does not have one.

something to lose another time.

‘forget the time, like life is long.’

CIRCUITSOULFOREVER.

“ITS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD.” I SAY SO COMMONLY, KNOWING FULL WELL THAT IT IS.

friend of the people.

finaldrive’23.

LOVERSNEVERDIE.

gentlerain tuned.

modern tools to fight the same old fight?

war not for now, but forever.

by the, beeeeeeach.

well, the empire was listening too close. I always wanted this (all of it) to reach you like a poem…or a storm…all at once, but with a duration of its choosing. I wanted it to live with you for the time you both needed it to. somewhere in the static, so much was lost. a flame and a maze just became insecure. a post meant more! like I always wanted! but only so much worse, so much emptier. so much was lost. mazes with nothing to learn, and blazes with nothing to burn. mystery became the price to be un-afforded. everything’s a sale and nothing was a gift. nuance lost to the taxes. or maybe it was me the whole way. maybe the maze was my own trap from the start? from childhood maybe? maybe? well a trap it became. it’s where I write to you from. couldn’t tell you the way out, or even if the paths are there anymore. don’t think I even want out, was that ever the idea? or just for someone to attempt it? I think the center was meant to be a home, not a trap. funny how things are repurposed. fire and flame and blades into…well, you tell me?

‘what ever happened? to the songs you used to sing?’ well, maybe only the empire was listening.

identity never clearer nor cloudier.

recent trust fund collection pilgrimmage.

in my youth my soulful investment into the world of automotive artistry began with eyes full of mysticism and a grandiose vision of the future. we didnt know it was the golden era then like we know now. nearly everything that i now admire, dream of, speculate, and seek…had already happened, or was happening then – in my youth, without me, while i was so very far away from it. since the inception this pursuit, very few new items, new machines, new ideas have been made their way through the haze to pique my heart. i always attempt to find what im looking for.

in those years, the first ‘new’ thing to see creation that fell in line with everything i was falling in love with, was the Z33 Nissan Fairlady Z. the very ‘big bang’ that began this for me wore the same Nissan crest and an HKS livery that made me feel like i was piloting a dragon in flight when I drove the HKS R32 GR. A machine in gran turismo. my love for the feeling that gave me lead me into Nissan’s Z car lineage, and a dream transpired seeing this beautiful finality in the S30 Z – I knew from then what I still know now, but that’s a story for the future. the Z33 was unveiled, and for the first time there was something on the horizon that was tangible. I vividly remember my first sight of one in person – still a kid, but now several years into this obsession but hardly ever getting to experience it in person – soon after release on a truck headed from a port to a dealership, and losing my mind. not too long after that, my father’s interest was piqued in the same machine, and he purchased an early model Z33. many years, experiences and a lot my childhood spend in that car after that, with some education provided to him by myself, he had the very fateful opportunity to purchase the vehicle above – a one of ~1600 350Z Version NISMO in bleeding Nogaro Red. graciously he offered to me to take it out of his hands once his time with it was done … and that time arose, and i forced the stars to align in my world to bring it home to me.

the Z33 chassis’ reputation has had a troubled history in the US unfortunately, but for a multitude of reasons has always been one of my favorite machines in the world, and I am forever joyed that I spent so much of my youth riding in this very one, experiencing much of life alongside it. long trips, youthful disappointment, loneliness, optimism, death, rain, sleep – the only other artifact of these things in my life has been my own sangre volume 001. nothing else will be able to capture such a pure timeline of my youth and my growth the way these two machines will forever be able to carry within them. these cars were brought to life in 2002, at the end of what is now considered the golden era of the Japanese tuning culture – post Top Speed shootouts of the 90s, post Mid Night Club, post FD RX7, MKIV Supra and R34 Skyline … this machine came into a world standing in the light looking for more of it. despite never being seen as such, this car took everything that was learned from that Golden Era and carried it forward in a way I dont believe many people have ever appreciated. the Version NISMO brought to life a closer to perfect vision of this chassis – one that is to this day I feel hard to compete with in aura with a factory vehicle. it blended a mix of special Nissan factory/Autech factory aero from vehicles of the past (S15 Spec R, R34 Altia) with their GT500 race machine aero to create one of the most beautiful factory vehicles of all time, and within the Japanese Market version, a special engine for not only homologation purposes but one that also assisted in the design of the R35 GTR VR38 engine that became the fastest production vehicle on Planet Earth for a time after this car was no longer even available. the Z33 is one of the Knights of the Future of Japanese Tuning, carrying the aura, the gleam, the heart – a sun on its back in a beautiful dress.

sangre derivation project. the BloodMachine’s gears turn…

realized a goal.

victoryautodesigns.com

victoryautodesigns.com

victoryautodesigns.com

sanctioned shadow.

2018.

it’s been more than a decade now. I call this ‘the’ BloodMachine but the BloodMachine is more than just one. this one is the first – Sangre Volume 001: Komorebi – named for the way it came to life, maybe not physically but certainly within me. it still feels like those mornings in the woods, screaming for help when only I could hear. it feels like the sun itself, it feels like the shade, and the burn in your eyes. it’s forever just like me.

cantbuymysoulbutyoucangetthisclose.bigcartel.com

nothing to be afraid of.

WHATGOODISGODWHENHEAVENSLONGGONE???

WHATGOODISGODWHENHEAVENSLONGGONE???

for so long I stared into the sun.

something to guide myself back home.

cantbuymysoulbutyoucangetthisclose.

THIS IS A THEATER.

ever since then, never been sure where to go. i knew what to do and i knew who to be but i could never be sure where to go. i knew how to be me, but i didnt know what that meant in this place. i think i still lose track, i lose place of my own place. i can sing all the songs of my heart, but i fail to be in the right chapel. my brain writes a million books in a moment, at the same time, moving in different directions like splitting timelines from the same soul. they all converge in to one and yet people still wonder why i hold the eye contact and take my time to respond. sure in my motives, sure in morals, sure in my own being but never in direction, never in objectivity.

every landing has felt like a crash, never a three point landing, never with grace. ive carried galaxies and yet never been able to show you a world that felt all mine.

but this is the closest ive gotten.